A Celebrity on Campus

In 2004, I spent a month in Miami. During that time I drove all over the city and interviewed many people as part of my job. One of the things that remains in my mind from that experience was a certain sign on billboards and the sides of buses all over the city. It was an advertisement for a television show on ABC called Karen Sisco. The show was about a fictional, beautiful, female US Marshal in Miami. Carla Gugino played the lead.

Gugino has one of the most beautiful faces I've ever seen. Her image, ten times larger than life on the billboard, burned into my brain-- permanently, I guess, as I can recall it quite easily and distinctly. The show had a short run and was cancelled. But whenever I saw her face on television again, I remembered it. She also starred in a CBS show a year later called Threshold, about an alien spaceship that crashes into the Atlantic Ocean. That show also had a short run before getting the axe.

The last thing I remember seeing Gugino in was a small guest role in HBO's series Entourage. She was as beautiful as ever, and I'm really surprised that she never broke through to become a huge star like Sharon Stone. I mean, I would pay money to watch her in a movie.

So you might understand my surprise when today in the library I rounded a corner and there stood a woman looking very much like Carla Gugino.

It stopped me in my tracks. She was standing near the circulation desk, talking to another woman. Both were dressed in all black business suits, but the one who did not look like Gugino wore a WCU name tag that said "Patti, VIP Services."

I had to stop and stare for a moment. This woman looked so much like her. She was a little shorter than I imagined Gugino being, and I could see the outline of her cheek bones more so than the real Gugino, but I have heard that television makes you look bigger and heavier than you really are.

Before they could notice me staring at them, spontaneity inspired me to walk up to the two women.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look like Carla Gugino?" I asked.

The woman turned and smiled, pleased. But it was Patti of VIP Services who answered. "That's because she is Carla Gugino."

I'm really not sure what I said next. Maybe it was "Wow!" or "Holy Smoke!" I do remember asking, "So what are you doing here at Western Carolina University?"

"I'm interested in a position in the Theater Department," she said, "and I've come to see what living in a little town near Asheville might be like."

"Oh really," I said. "You're going to be a professor here?"

Patti broke in. "The school wants to bring her in as a Visiting Assistant Professor of Acting."

"Okay, Okay," I said, nodding rapidly and beginning to stammer a bit. It was sinking in that I was standing in front of Carla Gugino, and she was looking straight at me. Her eyes were huge, an impossible shade of brown not found elsewhere in nature. They reflected light in a way I'd never noticed eyes to do before.

I lost my bearings.

"The school would be great... the school, Double-you-see-you would do good to have you... Miss Gugino."

Patti sensed one of her duties and tried to pull Carla Gugino away from me. "We've got to get to the Ramsey Center and to lunch, " Patti said to her-- not to me.

"It was nice meeting you," Carla Gugino said in a quick, cheerful tone. I'm sure she'd done this a thousand times with dumbstruck guys like me.

"Yeah," I gurgled out.

They started to walk away toward the entrance of the library.

Images and thoughts shot through my mind: "Carpe Diem." "You only live once." "Don't be a porch puppy." "What's the worst that could happen?" "It's Carla Gugino." "The woman from the billboard." "The woman from Miami." "MOVE!"

I almost ran to them, consciously and deliberately taking two giant breaths in the hopes my words would come out plainly.

"Miss Gugino?"

Both women stopped and looked at me.

"I'm going to law school next year. Even if you become a professor here, this is probably the only time in my life I will see you. I think you are beautiful. I saw you on a billboard in Miami. Would you like to have dinner with me?"

It was Patti's reaction that I noticed first. Her jaw didn't exactly drop, but she frowned in disbelief and something akin to horror. It was not the first time I'd seen such a look after asking a girl out, so I stood there bravely and waited for Carla Gugino's reaction.

She smiled and did not seem to be surprised. "What is your name?" she asked me.

"Nathan Marshburn."

"How old are you?"

I told her.

"You know some good places to eat here?" she asked.

"Oh yes," I said. "There's.. there's 553 in Sylva. That's nice. They have good wine."

"Well, I think I'm free tomorrow tonight. There are no plans or activities on the agenda for me, are there Patti?"

Patti, bewildered, said "No. Not if you'd like to have dinner with... Nathan."

"Okay, then, Nathan. It looks like we have a date."

Patti reluctantly gave me Carla Gugino's phone number, which I wrote down with a trembling hand, along with the time to pick her up. My mind was such Swiss cheese at this point that the conversation and details became a little blurry.

I remember Carla Gugino smiling at me and then walking way. Her walk was an actress's walk across a stage. Absolutely stunning. Absolutely beautiful.

So tomorrow night, I have a dinner date with Carla Gugino at 553 Restaurant in Sylva. I have no idea how to act, but I couldn't resist telling the world about it in a blog. Maybe I'm not blowing it. We'll see what happens.

Oh, and by the way, though the date on the blog says March 31, it is actually now past midnight on April 1. This is my April Fool's Day blog.

Until Next Time,

Nathan Marshburn